Monday, 26 January 2009

Slow Dance...

I got sent a chain email the other day. The thought was there but it was obvious the email had been tweaked many a time over the years. Here is the poem that was included in the mail, guess through all the stupidity of chain letterss the real message are still there if you look hard enough....

Slow Dance Poem

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun
into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say, "hi"?

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Monday, 19 January 2009

Our Own Little System...

So we're getting things down to a system. Maybe not an easy system, but one that seems to work.

Cleaning up each morning isn't easy. It has to be done. And that's the system I'm talking about. Old clothes off, fresh clothes on. Hygiene, hair, trying to take care of things the way I used to do it.

I couldn't do any of that without mom's help - something I hope she realises every day.

So, all in all, this seems to be working.

I'm pretty lucky.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Losing Control But Not Giving In...

How will this go? How do things play out from here? What happens next?

I don't have the answers to any of those questions right now. I'm sure the answers will become apparent at some point, but we're not there yet.

I do see changes in my body. I'm not as strong as I was a few weeks ago or a few weeks before that. I need more help doing some things.

Getting up the stairs for instance. I used to go up and down them without really thinking. Well, those days are over. I need to plan ahead if I can, make sure there's someone else there to help me up them, oxygen in toe.

It's just another little loss of control. A loss of freedom that the cancer has caused and I hate it.

It scares me too. How far will it go? How much of my strength will the cancer steal? Will I end up bed-ridden?

On the other hand, I have to keep going. I have to move around, go from chair to chair. I'm not bed-ridden now and I can't let myself give up.

So as it gets harder and harder to do the same things, I think all I can do is work a little harder to do them.

And make the cancer work harder to try and stop me.

Friday, 9 January 2009

New Year..

So we're starting another year of fighting with the "beast" To my mind, that means fighting dirty. Hit it when it's not looking. Jab it with radio when it doesn't expect it. Zap it, fry it, freeze it. This is no time to shake hands.

As we start this new year, it's a time to remember that everything is riding on this fight.