Giving Thanks this Christmas..

I have so much to be thankful for.

That might sound funny coming from someone with cancer. We have each other - the greatest gift of all. We have our loved ones. My doctors and their skills. I can still laugh when I should, and cry when I need to. And most important...I'm still here.

I may have my complaints, but I'm grateful for what I do have, however little it may be. Some people could only dream of what I have, I'll never forget that.
But my Christmas wish for all of you, those fighting the disease and those standing beside them, is that you find some healing, some peace. Even if it's just for an hour. I hope that Christmas dinner, or opening presents, or a silly family tradition, something will take your mind off the illness and pain. Just an hour or two of normalcy would be one of the best Christmas gifts ever.

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas x

A Snapshot In Time...

I live by a different calendar these days. I measure my life by the next appointment, the next lot of radiation, times to take my medication.

I realise that the rest of the world is going on about its business. Going to work, on holiday, shopping, all the usual stuff. My friends are all working or at college, measuring their lives by new assignments or reports due. All the things I used to worry about.

I guess today I'm really feeling the split between Cancer World and the normal world. Cancer World, my world, looks a lot like the normal world. But it is so very different.

I've gotten out of the house a few times, but I've pretty much been house-bound for a while now. I know that outside these walls, life goes on. But it's strange not to be part of it. I can almost feel the hum, the rhythm of everything that's happening out there.

When I first got home, the trees in my backyard were a riot of autumn colors. Now they're mostly bare, the leaves littering the ground. Time is passing in both Cancer World and the normal world. I just wish they didn't feel so far apart.

Christmas Is Coming....

I can't believe that in three weeks it's Christmas Day. It feels like this year, more than anything it's been a long time coming.

To me christmas this year isn't about flashy presents or wanting things that we can't really afford, for me this year it's about spending time with family and just generally having fun the good old traditional way. This consists of eating way too much, drinking a tiny bit of tipple then merrily gathering around the television to watch whatever Christmas films they decide to put on this year - and you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way...

Just to be able to put the decorations up this year and start blasting out the christmas tunes was a good enough reason to make me smile. Even having a tree, any tree to me is really what's important. Big or small, I've always thought of the tree as a symbol of hope and wonder. That's especially true this year.


And just because i can...